Day 1 to 7!

My 1st Big Break! :(
 

Days 0-7
 

Before you read furthur here are things you need!!
1) Baby Wipes - Showers are difficult on ones own
2) Foods/Snacks - Easy to eat with one hand
3) A pillow for your butt – Your going to want to find a good spot and stay there.
4) Hydrocodones!!! -  Especially a 30 min before anyone will have to touch/move your arm because it will hurt (hopefully your pain free after Day 30); don’t take Ibuprofens because they inhibit bone repair.
5) Stool softener pills - Vicodins side effect is constipation…
6) Fiber and 60 oz Water Daily - Vicodins side effect is constipation…

So you broke your arm. After Google’ing all the possibilities and having a few people check your arm on the way home while on the Metro Train hoping one’s a doctor and HOPING that they'll tell you it's just a sprain but the truth begins to set it-it's not. It's a freaking BROKEN HUMERUS and it’s not FUNNY.  

So it's Day 7 today.  I am going to attempt to recap the past week since it happened.

Snap! I broke my arm and a few hours later was in the ER hoping that it wasn't that bad, I didn't ask for any pain killers hoping the gods would shine on me and make the pain go away but it didn't. Then they took me to get an x-ray to see how bad it was. When the nurse came back she asked me again if I wanted something for the pain "Cause I'm gonna need it after I see the x-ray". She then showed me the picture and since I've never broken anything in my body before I quickly became sad and the pain washed over me.   

Then I popped my first of many hydrocodones/acetaminophens the 5/325 “Vikes” and began my spiral into pain free depression.  My immortality is questioned.  I am not a god.

They wrapped my me up in a soft cast and I was on my way, given only a script for 15 more “Vikes” and a appointment to see an orthopedist in 2 days (because Monday was a holiday).  So my first day was terrible.  I was uncomfortable all day, wished I had a recliner, kept feeling the two ends of my humerus rub against each other making me cringe.  Being told only time will help and reading about it online I became fed up.  I wanted more answers and stumbled upon two great blogs and now this is my gift to the next person to break their humerus. 

Find a comfortable place to sit/sleep. Try to take half a vicodin every 4 hours and a whole one before bed. You’re going to need the extra kick when you move during sleep. I found that my 230lb body reacted great to a half pill every 4 hours. If I didn't need one during the day I would wait till the pain began to be unbearable so some days that would be around 5-6 hours later but ALWAYS take one before bedtime! There really is nothing worse than waking up at 2am cause your arm is throbbing, the pain wakes you up like a kick to the nuts. Some days I would take 2 Vikes before bed but would still wake up in the middle of the night which brings me to the fact that sleep is going to be rare while your broken.  I may have averaged 3 hours/night and that wasn’t even restful.  I preferred to stay awake as if I was pulling all-nighters in college but don’t know if that would delay the healing so that’s the only reason I tried to sleep.  Figure that’s when your body grows so that’s probably when you repair yourself as well. 

Eat meals that are easy with one hand so it doesn't spill on u. Nothing worse than trying to clear out crumbs from your chest (it’s hard to wear shirts on your own so I was wearing tank tops and looking like a scumbag and when I ate sandwiches’ the crumbs would get stuck in my chest hairs and made me feel more depressed).  

Try to stretch your hand and make a fist sometimes to help get the blood moving. Your fist will swell up the first week but don't be discouraged. It will decrease and feel better in 10 days. Make sure to keep putting lotion on the hand of your broken arm.  It will get annoying dry and since I never use lotion I noticed it more and more.

I wasn't told by the doctor how I need to sit or sleep with the brace. Based on pics I think I'm supposed to let the sling hold my arm while the brace just helps set the humorous in place. Will update this.

From what I've heard the pain will really start to go away in 20 days. I'll get out of the Sling by day 35. Start PT by day 49. I'm currently on Day 5. Wish I could be put in a coma or get a potion to put a bone in me like Harry Potter- why is there no funding or research grants on witchcraft and wizardry!!??

So since coming home from ER I had 1 orthopedic appointment at 8am on Tuesday (Day 3-break happened on a Sunday and Monday they were closed). Doc looked at X-ray said we will put it in a Sarmiento brace and take an X-ray of it to see if it's in place. After the 2 nurses painfully removed the soft cast and put the brace on me with the Doc just supervising and not lifting a finger.  Then the 2 monkeys forgot to stabilize my forearm allowing what healing my humerus started to pop back out of place! I screamed “Mother fucker” and they quickly apologized! Then I Popped a Vicodin because the pain was truly a 10.   Next I was X-Rayed and then waited an hour and BOOM the doc said it looked well lets X-ray again in 2 weeks and oh yeah the brace is $250! 

So pretty much the bill comes in the mail and I'll update all that good stuff when it comes in. He then gave me a prescription for 40 Vicodins plus the 15 I got from the ER gives me 55! (The ER also gave me 800mg ibuprofen but that inhibits bone repair so do not use FYI!).

You will be bored, smelly, depressed, annoyed and always tired. Like I said I think I've been getting 3 hours of sleep every 12 hours. Hopefully you have a loved one in Ur life that can help you get through Week 1.

Crappy thing is when I do turn my arm to move it I can feel bone against bone movement which is mentally draining-like nails on a chalkboard. Hopefully I can answer all the questions you have about recovering from a snapped humerus. Funny note - I have seen 2 doctors so far and both told me as they entered the room after seeing my x-ray "You jacked your arm!!" like when did Jacked become Medical Terminalogy.  Anyways it was annoying have nurse after nurse come in asking what happened and then giving their 5 cents on how bad it is and blah blah blah.  So ive just began making up stories on what happened.  Its more entertaining for me and my favorite story is telling people ive gotten swept up by the 2014 Winter Olympics and Injured it.  They then ask what sport and I tell them Curling.  I am hysterical inside but I give a cold stare.  It is usually believed.

Another funny thing is I always asked people how it feels to break a bone because it never happened to me. The breaks is not so bad. Its quick and then shock comes into play and your numb.  You should ice the heck outta it and start popping pain meds. Then brace it and relax-u got 42 days to learn something you always wanted. Or you can get to the end of the internet, watch everything on Netflix but you will eventually stumble upon a few blogs and hope mine helps.

My Netflix Queue/Illegal Streaming Website = The IT Crowd, Peep Show, Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Happy Endings, Battlestar Galactica, How I Met Your Mother.

So my stench has gotten worse and worse. I almost feel if I didn't try to clean myself at first the dirt would've just kept piling on the old dirt and the smell wouldn't be so terrible.  Then I went and disturbed the old dirt and the smell got mobilized like VX Nerve Gas-it's so outta hand. I am literally a dirtbag right now. I cannot wait to shower properly. The wipes help but my depression from my smell remains. I've been wearing loose fitting tank tops which provide little comfort for when I sit but my arm pit is open so the smell just wafts and goes straight to my nose. I'm thinking tomorrow I run a baby wipe in my arm pits and then put deodorant on a towel and just cram it in there and see what happens. This is my low.

I did take a shower today. I wrapped a yoga belt around my wrist then around my neck and it held well. Then I wrapped multiple grocery bags around the Sarmiento brace and taped it so it wouldn't get wet. Then I used a loofah and cleaned as much as I can could and rinsed off. Even shampooed my hair! It was one of the best experiences I’ve ever had.  It was great but then when I had to put the sling back on it was painful and I wish I popped a Vicodin or two before I jumped in shower.

UPDATE: 

Perfected Technique to Shower

Need

Extra person.

Scissors

2 target bags

Tape

A belt you can use as a makeshift sling

 
Have a vicodin 30 minutes beforehand.  Cut hole in bottom of Target Grocery Bag, slip it on your hand and slip underneath sling opening.  Then slide it to elbow.  Next tie belt on wrist of broken arm.  Make sure you put it on underneath sling opening and tie around wrist so after you have it tied on your next you can easily slide the sling off without pain.  Next slide the bag up the brace and then make sure that it’s taped at the elbow and then at the top so no water will get into the sleeve/brace.  Then use second bag to cover the top of the brace and tape it again to make sure no water gets in.  WATER WILL GET IN! After you shower you may need help with cleaning your nonbroken arms armpit but cleaning your broken arm’s armpit is easy and pain free. Try to clean yourself off as much as you can.  You may have to lean over to open the armpit area and loofah the heck out of it.  After shower dry off the bag and your body and have them cut the bags off so you’re not dripping water everywhere.  Then dry the rest of your brace and body.  Then have someone help take off your brace and arm sleeve.  The arm sleeves are made of cotton and can be washed for reusing.  Next use soap and water to clean your broken arm, be careful and very gentle-you don’t want to re-aggravate the injury.  Place a towel on a pillow and use that to prop your arm while sitting so all the soap and water just falls on the towel and not on your dry body.  Also have them clean any water that got on the brace so there’s no possibility of mildew forming on the new clean arm sleeve you will put on.  After washing and cleaning your broken arm let it air dry before putting on the new sleeve and then putting on the brace and sling.  Next add deodorant and antiperspirant in your armpits and fold an ABD pad in your broken arm’s arm pit for comfort and BOOM-ALL CLEAN!!!

So to recap, it’s the end of Week 1 my Humerus is still in the Sarmiento brace and the sling. Yesterday I finally slept in a bed which is awesome but still woke up when my pain med wore off. When I feel my arm move it's like my upper arm and lower arm aren't connected. I am not myself. I am disconnected.

Week 1 Recap
14 Hydrocodones/Acetaminophen (5/325)
1 Shower
5 Days sleeping on Couch
2 Days sleeping on Bed