Day 11

So today I've felt pretty good even after the blockage of '14 shut down traffic for a whole day. Only had    half a pill today and was feeling pretty good throughout. I think a callous has formed and is starting to decrease the bone on bone grinding that's been irritating and scary but not painful. I don't feel the bone move or I mean I can't force myself to move the bone when I try. It was my sick pleasure. I also have not left my house for 9 days (would be 11 except I had a orthopedic appointment 2 days after the break). So today I walked out to my car, got a bottle of Fabreeze and came back in. Felt nice having the Sun shine down on me and that reminds me to get at least 20 min of sunlight from here on out to get the Vitamin D that my body needs hoping it helps me recover faster. Hopefully it works. Other than that my back is hurting because I still can't find a decent way to sleep and the Velcro on my sling and brace digs into my skin so I'm itching like Crackhead. The Fabreeze was nice because I sprayed it on a towel and tried clean my brace, sling and the rest of the gross smell emanating from my left side. I recognize that it's the same smell as homeless people and my heart goes out to them more so. It's worse than Sardines, Yesterday's 
poop, Sweat, yeast and Vomit all combined into one perfume.  I started to use Purell, Deodorant with anti-persperent and baby wipes and have begin wearing t shirts just to block the smell. It's working.

Day 9

It wasn't a crappy day :( Hydrocodone = constipation. Today was the Worst day ever. New lows were reached.  The problem started at 11am when I took my half pill and was feeling like a million bucks. I was walking around because I am sick of sitting down. Then all the sudden I had to pass gas and boom. Nothing to pass! “What the fuck!”.  Never have I been unable to pass gas.  My stomach felt like a balloon filled up with cement.   I can feel a big one ready to go but nothing's coming out. I've never had constipation before and it really the most painful experience I've ever been in. There is something that wants to get out of your body but the vicodins have stopped any kind of mobility in your intestines.  Pretty much everything that you eat is just collecting in your bowels and not moving.  Then while it is immobile any water that was in your bowels is just getting reabsorbed and the waste becomes more solid.  I have a new found respect for women when they have vaginal deliveries. So it started at 11 AM and went throughout the night. I had so much pain that after straining for an hour I went and grabbed some surgical gloves and stuck my finger up my pooper to see what the heck was going on. To my dismay I felt my poo and it was as hard as a Rock, A ROCK. My heart sank and I became scared. I then started to use q-tips to break the pieces of rock into smaller forms so they can get out of me, I then drank coffee because it usually makes me poo in a second-it wasn’t working today. Then I bought some stool softener and an in home enema kit. Lo and behold my plumbing finally cleared up.  My whole insides finally came out of me and it was shocking. It was scary. My eyes were tearing, my knees shaking, ass was numb. Terrible experience but the relief was instant.  This is why I stated you need to drink 60 ounces of water, eat plenty of fiber and take stool softeners when taking Opioids for pain so you don't have to go through my struggles.  Sorry if it was a bit gross, but really it’s something I do not wish on anyone and my super doctor didn’t mention it to me even though I should’ve read the side effects. In the end it was crappy!

Day 1 to 7!

My 1st Big Break! :(
 

Days 0-7
 

Before you read furthur here are things you need!!
1) Baby Wipes - Showers are difficult on ones own
2) Foods/Snacks - Easy to eat with one hand
3) A pillow for your butt – Your going to want to find a good spot and stay there.
4) Hydrocodones!!! -  Especially a 30 min before anyone will have to touch/move your arm because it will hurt (hopefully your pain free after Day 30); don’t take Ibuprofens because they inhibit bone repair.
5) Stool softener pills - Vicodins side effect is constipation…
6) Fiber and 60 oz Water Daily - Vicodins side effect is constipation…

So you broke your arm. After Google’ing all the possibilities and having a few people check your arm on the way home while on the Metro Train hoping one’s a doctor and HOPING that they'll tell you it's just a sprain but the truth begins to set it-it's not. It's a freaking BROKEN HUMERUS and it’s not FUNNY.  

So it's Day 7 today.  I am going to attempt to recap the past week since it happened.

Snap! I broke my arm and a few hours later was in the ER hoping that it wasn't that bad, I didn't ask for any pain killers hoping the gods would shine on me and make the pain go away but it didn't. Then they took me to get an x-ray to see how bad it was. When the nurse came back she asked me again if I wanted something for the pain "Cause I'm gonna need it after I see the x-ray". She then showed me the picture and since I've never broken anything in my body before I quickly became sad and the pain washed over me.   

Then I popped my first of many hydrocodones/acetaminophens the 5/325 “Vikes” and began my spiral into pain free depression.  My immortality is questioned.  I am not a god.

They wrapped my me up in a soft cast and I was on my way, given only a script for 15 more “Vikes” and a appointment to see an orthopedist in 2 days (because Monday was a holiday).  So my first day was terrible.  I was uncomfortable all day, wished I had a recliner, kept feeling the two ends of my humerus rub against each other making me cringe.  Being told only time will help and reading about it online I became fed up.  I wanted more answers and stumbled upon two great blogs and now this is my gift to the next person to break their humerus. 

Find a comfortable place to sit/sleep. Try to take half a vicodin every 4 hours and a whole one before bed. You’re going to need the extra kick when you move during sleep. I found that my 230lb body reacted great to a half pill every 4 hours. If I didn't need one during the day I would wait till the pain began to be unbearable so some days that would be around 5-6 hours later but ALWAYS take one before bedtime! There really is nothing worse than waking up at 2am cause your arm is throbbing, the pain wakes you up like a kick to the nuts. Some days I would take 2 Vikes before bed but would still wake up in the middle of the night which brings me to the fact that sleep is going to be rare while your broken.  I may have averaged 3 hours/night and that wasn’t even restful.  I preferred to stay awake as if I was pulling all-nighters in college but don’t know if that would delay the healing so that’s the only reason I tried to sleep.  Figure that’s when your body grows so that’s probably when you repair yourself as well. 

Eat meals that are easy with one hand so it doesn't spill on u. Nothing worse than trying to clear out crumbs from your chest (it’s hard to wear shirts on your own so I was wearing tank tops and looking like a scumbag and when I ate sandwiches’ the crumbs would get stuck in my chest hairs and made me feel more depressed).  

Try to stretch your hand and make a fist sometimes to help get the blood moving. Your fist will swell up the first week but don't be discouraged. It will decrease and feel better in 10 days. Make sure to keep putting lotion on the hand of your broken arm.  It will get annoying dry and since I never use lotion I noticed it more and more.

I wasn't told by the doctor how I need to sit or sleep with the brace. Based on pics I think I'm supposed to let the sling hold my arm while the brace just helps set the humorous in place. Will update this.

From what I've heard the pain will really start to go away in 20 days. I'll get out of the Sling by day 35. Start PT by day 49. I'm currently on Day 5. Wish I could be put in a coma or get a potion to put a bone in me like Harry Potter- why is there no funding or research grants on witchcraft and wizardry!!??

So since coming home from ER I had 1 orthopedic appointment at 8am on Tuesday (Day 3-break happened on a Sunday and Monday they were closed). Doc looked at X-ray said we will put it in a Sarmiento brace and take an X-ray of it to see if it's in place. After the 2 nurses painfully removed the soft cast and put the brace on me with the Doc just supervising and not lifting a finger.  Then the 2 monkeys forgot to stabilize my forearm allowing what healing my humerus started to pop back out of place! I screamed “Mother fucker” and they quickly apologized! Then I Popped a Vicodin because the pain was truly a 10.   Next I was X-Rayed and then waited an hour and BOOM the doc said it looked well lets X-ray again in 2 weeks and oh yeah the brace is $250! 

So pretty much the bill comes in the mail and I'll update all that good stuff when it comes in. He then gave me a prescription for 40 Vicodins plus the 15 I got from the ER gives me 55! (The ER also gave me 800mg ibuprofen but that inhibits bone repair so do not use FYI!).

You will be bored, smelly, depressed, annoyed and always tired. Like I said I think I've been getting 3 hours of sleep every 12 hours. Hopefully you have a loved one in Ur life that can help you get through Week 1.

Crappy thing is when I do turn my arm to move it I can feel bone against bone movement which is mentally draining-like nails on a chalkboard. Hopefully I can answer all the questions you have about recovering from a snapped humerus. Funny note - I have seen 2 doctors so far and both told me as they entered the room after seeing my x-ray "You jacked your arm!!" like when did Jacked become Medical Terminalogy.  Anyways it was annoying have nurse after nurse come in asking what happened and then giving their 5 cents on how bad it is and blah blah blah.  So ive just began making up stories on what happened.  Its more entertaining for me and my favorite story is telling people ive gotten swept up by the 2014 Winter Olympics and Injured it.  They then ask what sport and I tell them Curling.  I am hysterical inside but I give a cold stare.  It is usually believed.

Another funny thing is I always asked people how it feels to break a bone because it never happened to me. The breaks is not so bad. Its quick and then shock comes into play and your numb.  You should ice the heck outta it and start popping pain meds. Then brace it and relax-u got 42 days to learn something you always wanted. Or you can get to the end of the internet, watch everything on Netflix but you will eventually stumble upon a few blogs and hope mine helps.

My Netflix Queue/Illegal Streaming Website = The IT Crowd, Peep Show, Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Happy Endings, Battlestar Galactica, How I Met Your Mother.

So my stench has gotten worse and worse. I almost feel if I didn't try to clean myself at first the dirt would've just kept piling on the old dirt and the smell wouldn't be so terrible.  Then I went and disturbed the old dirt and the smell got mobilized like VX Nerve Gas-it's so outta hand. I am literally a dirtbag right now. I cannot wait to shower properly. The wipes help but my depression from my smell remains. I've been wearing loose fitting tank tops which provide little comfort for when I sit but my arm pit is open so the smell just wafts and goes straight to my nose. I'm thinking tomorrow I run a baby wipe in my arm pits and then put deodorant on a towel and just cram it in there and see what happens. This is my low.

I did take a shower today. I wrapped a yoga belt around my wrist then around my neck and it held well. Then I wrapped multiple grocery bags around the Sarmiento brace and taped it so it wouldn't get wet. Then I used a loofah and cleaned as much as I can could and rinsed off. Even shampooed my hair! It was one of the best experiences I’ve ever had.  It was great but then when I had to put the sling back on it was painful and I wish I popped a Vicodin or two before I jumped in shower.

UPDATE: 

Perfected Technique to Shower

Need

Extra person.

Scissors

2 target bags

Tape

A belt you can use as a makeshift sling

 
Have a vicodin 30 minutes beforehand.  Cut hole in bottom of Target Grocery Bag, slip it on your hand and slip underneath sling opening.  Then slide it to elbow.  Next tie belt on wrist of broken arm.  Make sure you put it on underneath sling opening and tie around wrist so after you have it tied on your next you can easily slide the sling off without pain.  Next slide the bag up the brace and then make sure that it’s taped at the elbow and then at the top so no water will get into the sleeve/brace.  Then use second bag to cover the top of the brace and tape it again to make sure no water gets in.  WATER WILL GET IN! After you shower you may need help with cleaning your nonbroken arms armpit but cleaning your broken arm’s armpit is easy and pain free. Try to clean yourself off as much as you can.  You may have to lean over to open the armpit area and loofah the heck out of it.  After shower dry off the bag and your body and have them cut the bags off so you’re not dripping water everywhere.  Then dry the rest of your brace and body.  Then have someone help take off your brace and arm sleeve.  The arm sleeves are made of cotton and can be washed for reusing.  Next use soap and water to clean your broken arm, be careful and very gentle-you don’t want to re-aggravate the injury.  Place a towel on a pillow and use that to prop your arm while sitting so all the soap and water just falls on the towel and not on your dry body.  Also have them clean any water that got on the brace so there’s no possibility of mildew forming on the new clean arm sleeve you will put on.  After washing and cleaning your broken arm let it air dry before putting on the new sleeve and then putting on the brace and sling.  Next add deodorant and antiperspirant in your armpits and fold an ABD pad in your broken arm’s arm pit for comfort and BOOM-ALL CLEAN!!!

So to recap, it’s the end of Week 1 my Humerus is still in the Sarmiento brace and the sling. Yesterday I finally slept in a bed which is awesome but still woke up when my pain med wore off. When I feel my arm move it's like my upper arm and lower arm aren't connected. I am not myself. I am disconnected.

Week 1 Recap
14 Hydrocodones/Acetaminophen (5/325)
1 Shower
5 Days sleeping on Couch
2 Days sleeping on Bed

so it begins...

i'm writing this with my right hand.  don't want to capitalize cause it slows me down.  thinking i should've used my iphone first to type and send and copy and paste but eff it-lets go old fashioned.  so if you stumbled onto this page most likely you have just broken your humerus.  i am currently on day 5 since my big break! life has sucked but this too shall pass.  so my goal for this blog is to inform YOU (the breakee-that took some finger gymnastics) to give you some tips, timelines, things to do etc. while your out of commission. 

also ive never wanted to write a blog-i never got on trends when they are blowing up (means popular)-i mean i watched "8 mile" in 2009. i never got a facebook (still wont) but i enjoy twitter and instagram (just started those up too even though they might not be "cool" anymore)  but lately since i've been arm disabled and high as a kite off pain killers ive been looking for a great blog but havent found it so BOOM ill make it myself.

about me = i broke my arm.  name is ju.  nice to meet you. lets see where this goes...